Springtime and love is in the air

Every spring (and a lot of winter, summer and fall) my mind turns to buying a new bike. Usually I start looking at bikes I have no need of or are impractical or just plain stupid. I'm all about the stupid.

In the past I've purchased an A-bike (yes, it's true), a Strida (yes, it's true), belt drive, shaft drive, folder, clunkers, bikes too small and bikes too big.

This spring an old man's fancy has turned to the mini-velo. I'm all about the mini-velo. Specifically this mini-velo:

Dahon Bullhead

I've thought about this one but it only has 3 speeds and I'm too old for that:

Cannondale Hooligan

They do have an 8 speed but it's not an internal gear and I'm all about the internal gear. Besides it's called Hooligan. For me to ride something called Hooligan I'd have to shed about 5 decades and get a tattoo.  The Dahon is called Bullhead, like Bullhead Shark. I think when I'm riding it it will be more like the Bullhead catfish.

My reasoning behind this is that I love jumping on my Downtube folder when bombing around town. It's zippy. I'm all about the zippy. What I don't like is it gets a little wishy washy when hammering out of the seat and the long stem feels as solid as my girlfriend riding on gravel. 

And it's cool looking, which of course is subjective but I'm now officially pretty damn cool. I have one of these:

So you have to listen to me when I tell you that. It's one of the perks of being cool. 

This isn't impulse buying. Impulse buying is buying when you don't think about it. 

No, I give it lots of thoughts. So many thoughts that I often confuse myself and get really frustrated and don't know what the hail to do. I look at the pictures and try and find reviews and then ignore it for weeks on end and then get drawn back to it like a tattootool to the local parlor. I work myself up into such a way that the only peace of mind I'm going to get is to one day just buy it and be done with it. It really comes down to being able to breathe a sigh of relief.  

This is called stupid buying.

But the sigh of relief is short lived because then I have to worry about it and wonder why I did it and don't even know if I'll like the damned thing cause I've never ridden it and I don't need another bike anyway.

This is called stupid buyers remorse. 

I haven't bought it yet but I can tell I'm entering that phase where it will soon drive me nuts if I don't. 

I have issues. I'm all about the issues.