One of them is blue with a list of mountains in big white letters. Climbers mountains - Everest, Kilamanjaro, Denali and 4 more I've never heard of.
Now, I've looked at mountains, mostly in pictures, because they're there. But I've never thought of climbing one and don't intend to think of it any time soon. The idea of sitting about for weeks on end with nothing to do except to eat and read and walk around and melt snow while I become acclimated so I can walk down and repeat the process so I can walk up higher and repeat the process just doesn't appeal.
So today I'm off to get a hearing test (wearing my very blue tee with the list of mountains) because I'm going to need a hearing aid real soon. First I went to the wrong building and then had the wrong room number cause that's what was in my calendar and after that got sorted out I got to the right place and I go to the desk and the lady looks at me like I'm crazy and says my appointment was April 1. My calendar says April 29. So I explain to her that when we were on the phone setting this up and I'm writing all this down and managed to get all this stuff wrong then that should qualify as an emergency cause obviously I can't hear shite and she should get me in asap. Apparently it's not an emergency to them cause my next appointment is May 27.
As I'm leaving a bloke sitting there asks me how many of them I've climbed. Huh? He points to my shirt. I haven't climbed any of them because I'm not an idiot. I explain the on sale concept and I don't know nuttin about no mountain climbing. I guess he's here for hearing issues also because he pretty much acts like he didn't hear a word I said as he starts listing the ones he's climbed and tells me how it's a great life and he's spent 22 weeks in a tent in the Rockies and he's going to climb this one next and then that one. I'm trying to get out of there because I have no interest in any of this but he won't have any of that 'cause I'm wearing a frickin t-shirt with the names of mountains on it.
There's a certain point in life where every second is precious and it happens when you know they're in the count down phase. I had stood there silently nodding my approval of his exploits when it hit me that this was wasting precious seconds so I turned my heels and left him.
I decided to ride up to capital hill to check out the new bike store.
It's a pleasant day save for strong winds, still good day for riding. I get there and walk in and a bloke comes over and asks me how many I've climbed! He then proceeds to tell me he hasn't climbed any either, just some smaller ones, but he's making plans. Wants to get to Everest in a couple of years.
So I'm all nice and nodding my approval like I'm almost interested as my time slips away.
I think I'm onto something here. If an iPad can convince people I'm cool when the closest I came to cool was in the 70's and there was nothing cool in the 70's, and if a t-shirt can make people think I've lost my mind and am willing to climb up the side of some mountain then I should think about getting a road bike and a costume to go with it.
Instead of getting yelled at to "learn how to ride!" I would be given that knowing nod of brotherhood, like I've just finished an "awesome" ride and am cooling down on my way home.
No more second class citizen for me! I'm going to look like I ride with the big boys. I don't know why I never thought of this before.
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