The middle ground - CAT-Os and morning commuters

Having been off the bike for the last week or so (bad hamstring, bad bad hamstring) I've been forced into the dreaded car.
This is a painful thing seeing all the bikers going merrily about the day while I'm stuck in way too much metal and plastic.

I've always thought that the Costumed And Tattooed (CAT-0) who go about terrorizing the other users of MUPs have a lot in common with aggressive drivers. The only difference is that the drivers are pretty much forced to slow and wait to pass when there's oncoming traffic whereas the CAT-0s simply blasts down the middle.

I was wrong.

 

Driving to work on MacArthur Blvd. has shown me the light. The number of cars that straddle the middle to pass the bikers while there is oncoming traffic is scary. I've even encountered cars that are half in my lane coming around blind curves. This has damaged my cyche. I thought it was only the CAT-0s that figured they have a right to make you use half of your lane. I had no idea that someone driving an SUV figured the same way.

They certainly figured right.  I will hold my ground when the CAT-0s challenge me but no way I'm messing with damn commuters in SUVs. I scooted over every time.

b x c x d > a x d2 + eb2

In my never ending quest to understand how exactly I don't fall over more often I stumbled on this:



My search continues.

Poor poor pitiful me

This story in the Washington Post tells the adventure of a dad taking his son out for riding lessons on a local MUP. Pretty funny. Not the story, the comments. 

So here we have a father taking his son, fresh out of training wheels, out for a ride on an MUP. After 30 minutes he gave up. He asked:

"Was it unreasonable for me to ask that people make room for a dad using one lane of the bike trail to teach his kid how to ride? Should I have more respect for the super-commuters who use (I’m being generous) their ride home to blow off steam from a rough day? I honestly don’t know. My wife says I was brave even to try."

Well, yeah. What a stupid question.  As you can imagine the responses from the bikers were all in agreement that it was a dumb idea. 

Alsatan1 wrote:

"Please don't mix your medium, wobbly (i.e., unpredictable 40 pound son going 5mph with large balanced 180 pound cyclists going 10-20 mph. Your son is the unexpected condition and the collision would have had terrible results for everyone. It wasn't a good idea."

A public MUP where individuals and families run and walk and ride. What kind of a father would throw his kid into this mix?

He continues:

"It's one of the worst because it's one of the most unpredictable. It puts me in a position to make a split second decision with which I have little experience."

Ah, the ol' split second decision. We've all faced it. You're riding along and up ahead are people. Maybe even little people. We know that little people can be even more unpredictable than the big kind. So let's just maintain our pace til we're right on top of them (because you can't whisper "on your left" until you're like right on top of them) and hope like hell we don't have to deal with the split second decision.

"Now quick, the cyclist has to weigh those options and make a decision in 2 seconds."

The cyclist must make a decision in 2 seconds because the cyclist isn't looking down the road. He's checking his "stats" on his $200 Garmin bike computer.  And if the cyclist were to plan for some unforeseen event then he would need to adjust his speed and the cyclist simply will not adjust the speed unless it's absolutely necessary and only then within the last possible 2 seconds. 

Nosmo writes:

"Was it too inconvenient to either walk or toss the childs bike into the back seat of the car and find an empty parking lot at a nearby Church or school? Sheesh... the kid wasn't scared of the fast moving bike riders, he was scared of the knucklehead decision of his father for thinking it was a great solution to put his son in a dangerous situation."

And is there any situation more dangerous than the runners and the walkers and the dogs and mothers pushing a baby carriage? Because it's not the fast moving bike riders. Yes it takes a real knucklehead to go out to an MUP and think those damned mothers with their baby carriages won't be terrorizing all the other MUP users. 

Alsatan1 again:

"Most cyclists pass you with a warning, almost all pass you safely."

Alsatan1 lives in a different world than I do.

"If you expect cyclists to reduce speed to 5 mph for every runner they pass, cyclists will not be able to utilize the trails and will use the roads where they'll demand cars reduce their speed to 12 mph, but then a runner will be on the road at 5mph, the cyclist will to to 5 mph and the cars will need to go 5mph. Ridiculous, right?"

It sure is! I can't recall the last time I read anything so ridiculous. 

I'm curious though. What is the minimum speed a cyclist can pass runners and still be able to utilize the trail? Is it 7mph? 9? 

I could be wrong here but I don't think we expect cars to travel at the same speed as us, just that they use some caution and pass safely and not blast by us with inches to spare, that when there's no opening they actually slow and wait. 

My guess is that not one other user of the trail on that day had a problem with the little one on his bike. I doubt a single runner or stroller had a complaint. I doubt any of them were unable to look at it as anything but a father teaching a kid how to ride a bike. I doubt any of them saw it as some kind of intrusion and a "dangerous" thing to do with a kid. 

The poor poor lonely biker. So misunderstood. All he wants is to get where he's going at the pace he wants to use and for others to get the hell out of the way. Is that so much to ask?

Climb every mountain

Last fall I bought a bunch of t-shirts from the North Face store in Georgetown because they were on sale. I'm all about the on sale.

One of them is blue with a list of mountains in big white letters. Climbers mountains - Everest, Kilamanjaro, Denali and 4 more I've never heard of. 

Now, I've looked at mountains, mostly in pictures, because they're there. But I've never thought of climbing one and don't intend to think of it any time soon. The idea of sitting about for weeks on end with nothing to do except to eat and read and walk around and melt snow while I become acclimated so I can walk down and repeat the process so I can walk up higher and repeat the process just doesn't appeal.

So today I'm off to get a hearing test (wearing my very blue tee with the list of mountains) because I'm going to need a hearing aid real soon. First I went to the wrong building and then had the wrong room number cause that's what was in my calendar and after that got sorted out I got to the right place and I go to the desk and the lady looks at me like I'm crazy and says my appointment was April 1. My calendar says April 29. So I explain to her that when we were on the phone setting this up and I'm writing all this down and managed to get all this stuff wrong then that should qualify as an emergency cause obviously I can't hear shite and she should get me in asap. Apparently it's not an emergency to them cause my next appointment is May 27.

As I'm leaving a bloke sitting there asks me how many of them I've climbed. Huh? He points to my shirt. I haven't climbed any of them because I'm not an idiot. I explain the on sale concept and I don't know nuttin about no mountain climbing. I guess he's here for hearing issues also because he pretty much acts like he didn't hear a word I said as he starts listing the ones he's climbed and tells me how it's a great life and he's spent 22 weeks in a tent in the Rockies and he's going to climb this one next and then that one. I'm trying to get out of there because I have no interest in any of this but he won't have any of that 'cause I'm wearing a frickin t-shirt with the names of mountains on it. 

There's a certain point in life where every second is precious and it happens when you know they're in the count down phase. I had stood there silently nodding my approval of his exploits when it hit me that this was wasting precious seconds so I turned my heels and left him. 

I decided to ride up to capital hill to check out the new bike store. 

It's a pleasant day save for strong winds, still good day for riding. I get there and walk in and a bloke comes over and asks me how many I've climbed! He then proceeds to tell me he hasn't climbed any either, just some smaller ones, but he's making plans. Wants to get to Everest in a couple of years. 

So I'm all nice and nodding my approval like I'm almost interested as my time slips away. 

I think I'm onto something here. If an iPad can convince people I'm cool when the closest I came to cool was in the 70's and there was nothing cool in the 70's, and if a t-shirt can make people think I've lost my mind and am willing to climb up the side of some mountain then I should think about getting a road bike and a costume to go with it.

Instead of getting yelled at to "learn how to ride!" I would be given that knowing nod of brotherhood, like I've just finished an "awesome" ride and am cooling down on my way home.

No more second class citizen for me! I'm going to look like I ride with the big boys. I don't know why I never thought of this before.

The real "Awesome"

These guys are too cool.

Check out the give and go around 2:35.

Max Cranky

The thing about being a cranky old man is you have to be cranky even on days when you don't feel it. If an opportunity presents itself you have to reply. It's part of the package and image and I'm all about the package and image.

Take yesterday. The weather has not been very springy but it's getting there and more people are out and about. I was tooling around (yes, I can do "tool" too) early on a beautiful morning and before I knew it I was heading home all pissed at the world. Ah, people.

It started just a few miles from home. I was tooling along early in the morning and there were few of the dreaded cars and life was good. I approached an intersection and the light was green and just as I was about to enter a slew of the costumed RB's (real bikers) came up on the side street and gave a quick look for traffic (and apparently straight through me) and proceeded through the red light with nary a tap on the brakes. I kept my pace figuring they would brake to let me through but that was just silly. I was no threat and besides it was obvious I was tooling, right of way or not. They had times to beat and paces to keep. Words were exchanged.

Now I'm cranky.

So I head on down town and I'm going though an intersection, again with the green light, when some big ol' tool in a big ol' truck comes racing up the side street, gives a quick look left and proceeds to turn right on red right in front of me, barely slowing down. Words were exchanged.

So now I'm crankier. 

I decided to pull over to see if I could see my reflection in a shop window. Yep, there I was alright.

Now I'm in the middle of Pennsylvania avenue in the bike lane and behind a couple of other folks out for an early morning ride and we come to a stop light and we're queued and some tatootool comes up from behind and edges out to the front of us so he's first in line 'cause he has, you know, tattoo's. Words were exchanged.

I'm pretty cool. I have an iPad and a "lifestyle". I'm starting to think that don't amount to much. What's the point of being all that and more if you don't get a little respect?

The next couple of hours went without incident and I was again enjoying the good life.

On my way home I decided to go to this restaurant in Georgetown U for some light lunch, it has a big buffet and lots of choices and is usually only packed during games and I like it.

Today there were like a busload of people in there and so I joined the queue. Four little old ladies came walking by, muttering something about "ridiculous", and proceeded to the front of the buffet.

No words were exchanged. I'll get cranky with a bunch of costumed tools, a tatootool and even some big ol' tool in a big ol' truck but there are some times when you're simply out crankied.

Wobble

As I'm going along I often wonder how it is we stay up on these things. I've read a bit on this but even what appears to be the simplest of articles soon turns into headache inducing jibberish. Words like centrifugal and angular momentum and rake and gyroscope and planar and vector appear. These are usually followed by things that some people on the planet can understand.
Things like:

0 = Cfriction x V x P + Cair x v^2 x v - Cslope x P x% slope x V

And they go on for pages with illustrations and graphs.

I don't know any of those people.

When my mind contemplates these things I usually get disoriented and wobbly. Not the old kind of disoriented and wobbly but the kind that strikes you suddenly like you've just walked into a bike shop and two tatootools are having a conversation and you notice that neither are using words like "sick" and "dude" and "awesome".

There are few things worse than the wobble. Only two things can happen, you either regain control or you don't. So it strikes me as peculiar that someone would build a bike so they can get on with their wobble.

They say it only takes a couple of minutes to get used to. My question is how many fall down go boom's are included in those few minutes. I'm not fond of the fall down go boom way of riding and as one of the Laws of Old states, once you reach a certain age if you fall you're not allowed to get up without the aid of a good samaritan (are there bad samaritans?). I haven't reached that age yet but it's unclear at what point that kicks in so I see no reason to push my luck.
After you master the wobble bike you'll be able to ride it anywhere. I can ride my regular bike anywhere and choose when to wobble. All I need to do is think about angular momentum and vectors.