Wilderness Pouch

I'm not exactly what one would call fashionable.  I don't do "pretty" very well as evidenced by the way I dress myself.

Like all men I tend to grab what is handy when I don't have anywhere special to be.  But it's not like we men don't have standards.  When we get up on the weekends we're not going to just throw anything on.  We'll grab the first shirt we see and give it a quick sniff.  Sometimes it might take two sniffs.  If it doesn't pass after two sniffs then we grab the next shirt.  After one passes the sniff test we'll check for stains.  A small stain or two is nothing to worry about but if it has a big stain we'll usually move on until we find a good one.

Now, since I pretty much bike everywhere - which means going to the store, doctor, work... - I have to concern myself with making sure I don't forget important things like keys and wallets.  And since I'm old I also have to carry some small reading glasses with me.  I also have to carry a badge to get into work and my iPhone and old people pills and a few other odds and ends.

So how do I do that?  Well, I use a wilderness pouch.  It's more a concrete wilderness but it serves the same purpose.  Now wilderness pouch has some varying definitions but mine is to carry my crap.  Here's a few pictures:

Some people give me a hard time, especially at work.  They call this a "fanny pack".  Well, no.  This is a fanny pack:

What I wear is more along the lines of this:

You can see that Hulk is in the middle of the concrete wilderness and he's prepared.  He has his wilderness pouch.

Some folks will say that it makes you look like you have two ass's.  The truth of the matter is I don't have one ass.  One of the great AHA! moments in my life was when I was biking to work one morning and it was about 12 degrees outside and the wind was howling and I was thinking "I'm a moron, I'm going to freeze my ass off." and it hit me that I don't have one.  I haven't worried about it since.

And I also use as a convenient way to carry my helmet:

So there you go.  Bulging pockets?  No.  Bulky backpack?  No. Purse? NO! Satchel? No.

It's small, it carries everything I need and it's got a cool name.